A lot is going on

I wanted to take a rare moment away from life to just reflect on how much is truly going on in my life.

Today was my last day working for my current employer. It was expected as the company had lost a lot of business, but still heart breaking in some ways. Who really likes to lose their job? I had some unexpected send offs that were really quite meaningful and reassuring in the sense that I am positive it had nothing to do with my work performance or ethic.

While this is occurring, I am in full blown swing of planning my younger son's first birthday party for tomorrow. There is a large number of guests attending and a whole lot of meatballs to finish cooking before this night is over. I am not as proud of my party planning performance on this occasion as I do not feel I did a great job organizing this. I have my list of what to bring and I have decided to lay off the perfectionist routine and just let the party happen as it will. I am sure people will have a good time and years from now I will not poo-poo myself for my poor planning efforts.

As if this were not enough, Dave and I are also in the process of settling on a new home...our first to be exact. While losing my job is certainly an added stress factor to this process, I have also decided to take the positive attitude approach and bank on the fact that we have already turned in our paperwork and the bank is already in the process of making its final decision. If it does not go through, I cannot promise the continuation of my positive attitude...only that I will positively lose it.

Next on the list; deciding whether to continue looking for new employment or follow my interest in going to the unorthodox style of film school I found online. The film school offers the opportunity to become an apprentice to an experience director or producer in the Philadelphia area. They have you meet with the "mentor" ahead of time to see if it's a good fit and something you are interested in. You need to work with your mentor 2 days a week. If I am able to survive on unemployment and go that route it would be great. I'm just scared that unemployment will not be enough to support a mortgage and a wedding in a year.

Oh yeah...did I mention that we are getting married in 1 year and 4 months.

Perhaps I should apply to be superwoman.